I remember a long time ago me & my bestest where completely against drugs and drinking , & having sex too early .

Butshit . Look at us now , & we could tell you we’ve done it all .

I guess I’m still pretty shocked , it never really hit me until yesterday . We where just talking about it and it just smacked me across the face . It was like .. “I did all that ? Really ? ” It was hard to accept the fact that yeah , i’ve smoked weed before because i thought everyone was against me , that i really had no one anymore ; & to really accept the fact that i’ve given myself over to someone that didn’t deserve me . Or maybe that I had a huge drinking problem a few months back because I thought the more I drank , the more I blacked out , the better my life would be if I didn’t have to remember anything .

I did it all out of depression , to fill a void that I desperately wanted to fill , not have to worry about anymore . I regret I did that - but I can’t take it back . I’ve lived and learned from it . Yeah , I’m not going to lie , that rush I got when I smoked that weed was fantastic , I loved it - & yeah , I love drinking , sometimes drinky to the point where you get that major fucking hangover in the morning & can’t stop throwing up . But I can’t say I’d do it anymore , just to feel that rush , or have my friends call me at 4 in t he afternoon asking if I was okay because I had literally crawled to my bedroom because I couldn’t walk . It’s horrible , hearing those words , knowing your friends are worried if your alive or dead cause they didn’t know what happened to you after that party . Hm . It’s amazing what you say and end up doing a year later , isn’t it ?

Anyways , it was fun while it lasted but I’ve learned from all that , experiences that will stay with me for the rest of my life . I’m not gonna’ get hung up after what i did / - i actually forgive myself after everything . & even things to come .

I’m wiser & stronger - more independant than’ i’ve ever been . And i like it that way . (:

xoxo,Breeh.