Well, I don’t really rant about anything or anyone, but today - well, yesterday, I realized some things that pissed me the f’uck off to no f’ucking end. Why the hell did I crack under pressure? I always told myself I wouldn’t have sex till I was damn sure & MOHERFUCKING READY. I always told myself that if I did do it, I’d regret it for awhile. It’s been awhile, & I’m still regretting it. Obv. you can’t see how pissed I am, or how bad I’m crying that I have to throw up, or how everything I see myself in the mirror I look at someone dirty, guilty, and a bottle filled with shame. You played with my mind liek a f’cking board game, got me to play so well. You didn’t realize the outcome of it all, do you though? Or maybe you did, but you figured since you wouldn’t see me again, what was the point? I guess in general you just didn’t care. You didn’t care that I didn’t like it, you didn’t care how much it hurt, you didn’t care that you where 2-3 years older then me. I did something I’ll most likely regret my whole life; I did something that I’ll remember in the back of my mind, forever. It’s like this horror film in my head that won’t go away, tha wont leave me alone in peace. I have to remember it day after day after day. I fucking hate you. I was stupid enough to think some low-life like you would love me, stupid enough to take off my clothes & get in bed with you, stupid enough to find out I’m pregnant, and I’m already gone. Stupid enough to think you’d stay by myself forever, like you convinced me you would. I fell for you, hard. You must know that. I was in love once, but with you I thought what we had was better - believe it or not. & I fucking hate thinking that, cause it wasn’t. You didn’t love me. You’d just love to get in my pants. You got what you wished for. Fucking happy now?